“I am reading a book…” – are you reading OR listening to a book?

A few minutes ago I pointed out to my other half that Iʻm reading a book (Kitchen Confidential, by Anthony Bourdain, to be more precise).

He asked me “are you reading OR LISTENING to a book?”

Now thatʻs a funny word exchange isnʻt it.

How canʻt you tell if Iʻm reading or listening to a book?

Oh wait, I was holding my iPad mini. So I could have been READING an ebook or an ibook or a kindle or a kobo or an overdrive book. Kind of, like, actually reading it.

Or then I could have been *gasp* only LISTENING TO A BOOK. Uh? Where is the difference?

For the record, I consider I was doing both. I was READING A BOOK. in BARD Mobile app. The book, DB 50845, has a wonderful narrator, Christopher Walker, so itʻs a pleasure to listen to it. With headphones itʻs lovely to listen to, and I can go with a comfortable 187,5 % speed. So a fast reader. No, I donʻt like to slow down my reading speed.

So why does it matter if I readorlisten to a book?

As long as I can read and write AND know how to spell, do math, and punctuate, itʻs all a win.

And I donʻt have to think about doing stupid stuff like, uh – taking this apparently physically handicapped alien that I am to some bleep speech therapist.

By the way, I canʻt decide which 1 irritates me more: being defined as alien or handicapped. Fine; pick either. Then we can talk:

hey, I can speak in different languages. I can read and write in braille.


I donʻt always want to talk in English, so va fan culo.

And no, I really hate doctors who donʻt even have the EYE-balls to treat me like a human being. F U.

I can test your vision, doctors: see this nice eye chart on my skin? Oh, you canʻt read? Oh – an illiterate doctor. Fine – letʻs try something easier

how many fingers am I holding up? On my left hand I am holding up dot 2 and on my right hand dot 5, both usually intended to be pointed at the general direction from which your voice seems to come from. And now have a nice day and leave me al1.

There. That got a bit off the track from reading a book, but it felt amazingly satisfactory to write. 🙂


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